Friday, September 01, 2006

Japanese Anecdotes


My father was taking a bath when he suddenly shouted, "Good heavens! I have a nosebleed coming from somewhere!"

I wonder, just where on my father could a "nosebleed" have come from...?

On the Hankyu Railway train, a boy of about 3 looked liked he had to pee.

Child: "Mama potty."

Mama: "Why don't you tell me sooner [hayaku]!"

Then the child thought of something and said rapidly [hayaku], "Mamapotty."

On the airplane to Okinawa, my father said pompously, "All of the islands of Okinawa have 'reference fish' [sanshouuo]!"

That should be "coral reef [fish]" [sangoshouuo]!!

On the "If I don't do it, who will?" sign inside a certain factory, the voicing marks on the ga of "who" were shaved off [changing dare ga, "who," to dare ka, "someone"] , making it "If I don't do it, someone will."

And this company's future will be....

The other day my sister was feeling blue because a boy had dumped her, so to comfort her my father meant to say "A person isn't [just] a face" but said "Your face isn't human."

My mother was watching TV when a beautiful female announcer came on. My mother said with a smile, "It'd be nice if someone like that married into our family."

But in my family the only guy is my father. Just who does my mother want a bride for?

At the confectioner's my mother asked for the country-style (crushed) sweet red-bean soup, and I asked for the strained sweet red-bean soup.

When the clerk asked, "Who (dochira) had the country-style (inaka)?" [but possibly "Where (dochira) is your hometown (inaka)?"], my mother answered instantly "Niigata prefecture."

During a marital spat, my father meant to say to my mother "Idiot!" [bakamono] but mistakenly shouted "Ghost!" [bakemono].

The quarrel got much worse.

When my mother gets a headache, she puts ice on her forehead.

Just the other day in the middle of the night, the pain got pretty severe. Through the darkness with her head swimming, she went to the kitchen. From the refrigerator she took out a plastic bag of ice that she'd put there in advance, put it on her forehead, and went back to sleep....

The next morning when she woke up, thawed squid had rolled onto her pillow.

One time when the family was gathered for dinner, my dad, who was mad about something, meant to say "Thanks to whom do you think you're able to eat this meal?!" but shouted "For whose benefit are you eating this meal?!"

My sister and I answered, "For our own benefit."


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